We live in the age of layoffs, reorganizations and acquisitions (which often lead to layoffs eventually, too). And most of us will likely be impacted by this at one point or another. Today, I will talk about that awkward and incredibly stressful time when the layoffs have started, but you are still there. People around you have been let go, but you survived. This time.
It’s a period in your career that is filled with emotions, decisions and requires a lot of resilience.
The Guilt
First come the emotions. And questions.
By now, we have all heard about survivor’s guilt. It’s the guilt (and relief) you experience that you were not the one chosen this time. It’s those nagging questions at the back of your mind asking, “Why not me?” This is the exact mirror of the question that people who have been laid off ask themselves: “Why me?”
And both come from the same place – the lack of control and the need to make sense in a situation that seems illogical. Because, from an employee standpoint, the layoff decisions often seem random. Companies and leaders are not allowed to disclose the reasoning behind them. There are multiple legal reasons for this, but the result, unfortunately, is that the lack of transparency exacerbates employees’ feelings of uncertainty and unfairness.
The truth is that layoff decisions are rarely personal; most times, it is all about the numbers. And that may sound cold, but if you think about it, it is also a bit liberating. Neither you nor your laid-off colleagues did anything wrong to bring about the decisions that were made.
Your leaders who made the layoff decisions are aware of the negative emotions and the survivor’s guilt, and most of them experience them too, but they don’t know what to do with them. So they rush forward toward the bright future ahead and expect you to run with them.
You don’t have to. Your emotions are valid and you should sit with them and come to terms with them.
If your company offers employee assistance programs or other support, take advantage of them. That’s exactly what they are for.
Talk to your manager or colleagues and share. You will quickly see that you are not alone in your feelings. And sharing and talking helps.
Over time, your survivor’s guilt and anger will diminish.
The Decision
It’s important not to make decisions about the future while you are still in the height of emotion.
But even after your initial survivor’s guilt has subsided, a certain level of anxiety and anticipation will likely remain. And the question “When is my turn?”
And you are faced with a decision – do you stay and endure the anxiety and anticipation and chaos, or do you jump immediately?
I have done both. The first time I ran the moment I learned that my job was at risk and the second time I stayed and waited for things to play out.
I don’t believe in regrets so I would not say either was a mistake but both came with their own downsides.
Through the lens of time, I can now say that the first time, I was running from something and not to something. The result was choosing a next role that was not the best fit for me. I made it work eventually, and it led to good things, but it was a decision made in panic and could have ended badly.
The second time, I stayed too long. My employers had let me know that I would be laid off, but they were dragging their feet because they did not really want to lose me (one example of how layoff decisions are not personal – they valued me as a professional, but I was based at an office they had decided to close). So they kept extending my notice period, and I kept agreeing to stay longer. Until, at one point, I finally realized – this was not good for either the company or me. And I left.
Both times, my decisions were powered by my need for security. This is one of the most powerful motivational forces for us humans (remember Maslow’s pyramid of needs?). But if we let the need for security completely overcome us, it can cloud our vision.
So when you are making your decision, acknowledge the need for security but also know that it, together with the anxiety, influences the way you see the situation and inevitably makes you anticipate only the worst-case scenarios.
To make sure you are making the decision rationally, ask yourself this:
- What would my decision be if I were not anticipating the worst-case scenario?
Play out as many scenarios as possible. Watch for signals that show which ones are more likely. In my case, knowing that the office would eventually be closing meant that sooner or later, my role would be eliminated. But if I were working out of another office, the likelihood of my being retained would be much higher.
- What can I do to increase my sense of security without making any irreversible decisions?
It could be increasing your visibility both internally and externally. Or activating your network so you have opportunities when/if the time comes. Or upskilling or reskilling.
- What do I want for my future?
This is the most important question because answering it honestly will help you run toward something instead of from something and will make sure that any decisions you make are grounded in your long-term vision and not at your current sense of uncertainty.
The Resilience Work
Let’s say that you have decided to stay. Now the question comes “How do you keep yourself motivated and engaged?” Because even if you have made the conscious decision to remain in the organization, you still have to manage your emotions.
Think about the things that usually keep you motivated and engaged: a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging, loyalty, and opportunities for growth. At a time where a company does layoffs, most of those gradually, or sometimes quickly, go out the window.
It’s difficult to feel a sense of belonging to a company that’s changing so rapidly and whose strategy involves letting go of its people. Same goal for loyalty. And opportunities for growth may still be there, but they become much less visible when the company is in turmoil. So what’s left?
The relief that you still have a job can only keep you motivated for so long. And then come all those mornings when you dread going to work or logging into your computer, and when your energy fizzes out by midday.
It took me a very long time to figure it out. I had to drag myself to work every morning and put in enormous effort to stay focused by the end of the day. I tried all sorts of different things to trick myself into caring – setting myself short-term goals to gain a sense of achievement, focusing on my team, trying to find new things to learn.
All of them worked for a bit, but after a few weeks, I was back to feeling exhausted and unmotivated.
And I finally figured it out. What kept me going and what I consciously chose to keep me going was my idea of who I want to be as a professional. How I wanted to show up. What were the actions, values, and goals that drove me personally?
It changed things for me. While before my engagement came from what I wanted to do for the company, now it was focused internally and transformed into an identity matter – who do I want to be as a professional and a leader?
Things became much easier then. I was a lot more focused, a lot more productive and took this as an opportunity to show myself the best version of me as a professional.
So if you are struggling to stay motivated in times of job uncertainty, ask yourself: “Who do I want to be as a professional right now?”